Cleaning house physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Posts tagged ‘self-improvement’

Here Come Da Judge!

I am fairly opinionated. And sometimes I am judgemental. But is there a difference and what is that?

  • Judgemental is defined as an attitude in which judgments about other people’s conduct are made.
  • Opinionated is defined as obstinate or conceited with regard to the merit of one’s own opinions.

Yup, I am judgemental and I rationalize it in any way that makes sense to me at the time.  And opinionated — oh yeah!  Here again, I rationalize this because I have thought long and hard about my opinions and believe they are the best for me. True, I sometimes think they may be better for others too. But more often, it’s all about me. Guess that’s where the conceited part comes in. Sometimes I think they are meshed together when words come out of my mouth. I’m trying to figure out how to be a better person, especially in this aspect.

“Be curious, not judgmental.” – Walt Whitman

I have a low ability to understand why people do some of the things they do. Thus I often ask questions, which are usually delivered with little tact. It’s not that I mean to be tactless, I am so curious or astounded at others’ actions that I blurt out questions or comments.

For example, I came across an odd situation and person A stated they knew what the problem was. I responded with “how do you know that?” Unfortunately my comment was perceived as some sort of accusation. What I wanted to know was how person A came by that information.  What did they read or learn that allowed them to have that knowledge? Was it something I also could learn? I wanted to understand their reasoning so if I came across a similar situation, I might also be able to know what the problem is.

If you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

Is that a judgemental statement? Somewhat. Does it imply that “bad” behavior is contagious? Sort of. I think it points more to mans’ attempt to belong or embed themselves as part of a group.

For example, if you hang out with druggies, there is a higher chance you too may become involved with drugs. Judgemental or an opinion?  Realistic? Probably a little of all.

I find that I often put my foot in my mouth with judgemental statements. Generic statements without knowing the facts are a problem. For example, in a conversation with a friend, I made a generic statement that people who have affairs with married people lose a little of my respect for them.

Now that is judgemental! I’m basing an overall opinion of the person based on a single aspect of their life. And without even knowing the facts or even if the situation is true. And without taking into account all the good things I know about that person.

“I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.” – anonymous

So a personal goal of mine is to work on not being that anonymouse (pun intended) person I quoted above. It’s gonna be hard, because I’m sure you’ll agree I’m perfect nearly perfect.  OK OK — I’m in great need of an overhaul!!!  Sheesh – I’m even judgemental on myself.

Quilting Envy

I started this blog as an effort to make myself more accountable for getting my life back on track. The first goal was to get the house cleaned up so I could relax and be less stressed about my lack of action. Wahoo — that has been working fairly well and the house is presentable for company! I now only have two more rooms to do: the quilting room and my bedroom.

I’m especially eager to get the quilting room done because:

  • I miss the sense of completion when I finish something. Of course, I would never admit that I have over 20 unfinished projects, so that is quite the challenge.
  • Quilting fulfills my need for order, balance, and symmetry.
  • Playing with colors opens up unplanned options and helps reduce my over-planning anxiety.
  • I like love it!

So my immediate goal is to get the quilting room back into order and ready for action. And as a personal inspiration, I have been seriously thinking about what project to work on first, and priority for other projects.  Am not going to share that now because even thinking about it would interfere with the clean-up activities. However, this is a block for a bed quilt for a dear friend. I came across it while moving boxes around. It’s inspiring for me; think I’ll just temporarily hang it on the wall to keep me on task.

Tracie's quilt-to-be

Wish me luck for a quick clean of the quilting room! I want to quilt!

Weekend Plans

It’s the Friday of Memorial Day weekend. Here are my plans:

  • Finish planting flowers outside
  • Plant flowers at my moms (it’s her Mother’s Day present)
  • Finish decluttering the kitchen
  • Put away Alia’s (daughter) stuff from college
  • Get caught up on laundry
  • Vacuum
  • Clean bathroom
  • Bring out the lawn furniture

Geez – now that I have written my tasks down, they seem overwhelming. But I have already started the laundry and should get a load or two done tonight.  And I have three days to do everything! Check back over the weekend to see how I”m doing. Wish me luck! Thankfully my sciatica is barely there today. Hoping it will stay away for the weekend as there is a lot of physical stuff to do (planting, furniture, etc.).

So now the rest of the news. I finally sort of connected with a long lost friend in the Joplin area. She answered my Facebook friend request but didn’t provide any info as to whether she and family are OK. Thus I will assume they are until I hear otherwise.

I briefly texted with my daughter today. She’s off on a Saturday/Sunday trip with a bunch of college buddies. Heavy sigh — just another holiday notch in the belt where she’s not home and we are not doing something together. Another heavy sigh.

The weather here is crap! We have had no spring at all. it has been raining, raining, and raining and chilly. Now it’s not the chilly weather, because I like the coolness. But the constant rain is putting a damper on things (ha-pun intended). The cool thing (yup, another pun) is that I have turned the heat off and have not turned on the air conditioning yet. Definately late in the year for AC. And I have not turned on my sprinklers yet either.

Since I don’t have work tomorrow, I plan to sleep in. What I will really do is read late into the night. Then wake up early (about 6:00 a.m.), read a bit more, fall asleep, wake up and read, then sleep again. Sometimes I will do this all day and not even get out of bed at all! But not tomorrow. I vow to be up and working on tasks by 10:00 a.m. Oh and let’s not forget that sleeping in seems to be a quality cat-time session, at least that’s what MeiMei and Sunni think.

I’m off to finish up with today’s laundry and plan to go to bed early so I can read. “Crunch Time” is a fun read and I’ve been a Diane Mott Davidson fan for years. When I finish it (will be done this weekend), I’ll expound on the books.

Enjoy the long weekend and stay safe.