I am fairly opinionated. And sometimes I am judgemental. But is there a difference and what is that?
- Judgemental is defined as an attitude in which judgments about other people’s conduct are made.
- Opinionated is defined as obstinate or conceited with regard to the merit of one’s own opinions.
Yup, I am judgemental and I rationalize it in any way that makes sense to me at the time. And opinionated — oh yeah! Here again, I rationalize this because I have thought long and hard about my opinions and believe they are the best for me. True, I sometimes think they may be better for others too. But more often, it’s all about me. Guess that’s where the conceited part comes in. Sometimes I think they are meshed together when words come out of my mouth. I’m trying to figure out how to be a better person, especially in this aspect.
“Be curious, not judgmental.” – Walt Whitman
I have a low ability to understand why people do some of the things they do. Thus I often ask questions, which are usually delivered with little tact. It’s not that I mean to be tactless, I am so curious or astounded at others’ actions that I blurt out questions or comments.
For example, I came across an odd situation and person A stated they knew what the problem was. I responded with “how do you know that?” Unfortunately my comment was perceived as some sort of accusation. What I wanted to know was how person A came by that information. What did they read or learn that allowed them to have that knowledge? Was it something I also could learn? I wanted to understand their reasoning so if I came across a similar situation, I might also be able to know what the problem is.
If you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
Is that a judgemental statement? Somewhat. Does it imply that “bad” behavior is contagious? Sort of. I think it points more to mans’ attempt to belong or embed themselves as part of a group.
For example, if you hang out with druggies, there is a higher chance you too may become involved with drugs. Judgemental or an opinion? Realistic? Probably a little of all.
I find that I often put my foot in my mouth with judgemental statements. Generic statements without knowing the facts are a problem. For example, in a conversation with a friend, I made a generic statement that people who have affairs with married people lose a little of my respect for them.
Now that is judgemental! I’m basing an overall opinion of the person based on a single aspect of their life. And without even knowing the facts or even if the situation is true. And without taking into account all the good things I know about that person.
“I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.” – anonymous
So a personal goal of mine is to work on not being that anonymouse (pun intended) person I quoted above. It’s gonna be hard, because I’m sure you’ll agree I’m
perfect nearly perfect. OK OK — I’m in great need of an overhaul!!! Sheesh – I’m even judgemental on myself.