I am bored, so I have decided to reinvent myself according to the purported style of the average American. And what can be more average than the lives of people depicted on commercials or advertisements.
First of all, I can no longer hold on to anything. “Drop everything and head over to the Nissan sales event.” Not much of a change for me as I am the queen of klutzes.
One ad I can get behind is “Nothing can keep you from a Magnum.” The TV ad shows a huge traffic jam and a lovely young lady climbs out of her car (convertible of course), no shoes, and traipses across the tops of cars in front of her car. And why? To get to the refrigerated truck also stuck in the traffic jam and get a Magnum ice cream bar. Belgium chocolate-covered ice cream bar. I already mentioned that I am a klutz, so no traipsing for me. I also have an issue with the sun in my eyes, so no convertible. But getting an ice cream bar in the middle of a traffic jam? Oh yeah – I can do that!
“If you love bacon, make it official.” According to Jack-in-the-Box, I should marry the bacon! If people who love each other cannot marry if they are the same sex, why would it be okay to marry a piece of fried, dead pig? Or is this a subliminal message for all of America to rally forth for equal marriage laws for all regardless of sexual orientation or food likes. Maybe I should do this though because I do like bacon and there is no one else (or any other food product) in line for marriage.
So the commercial me, with a broken toe (I dropped everything on my foot), is driving a new car, with my partner (bacon), while eating a chocolate ice cream bar. Sheesh, not so different than my current life after all.