Ah… Emily Litella, played by the late Gilda Radner, on the Weekend Update Segment of Saturday Night Live in the late 1970s.
fear believe I am channeling Emily Litella; she with her hearing issues and becoming fanatical in her editorial review only to have her error pointed out to her. She always was the quintessential lady, and quietly responded with “Never Mind.”
Here is my list of Emily episodes.
One day my cousin called me and was a bit hysterical. I heard “My mom stabbed my dad to death.” Now in reality, what she said and what I thought she said were two diametrically opposed statements. She actually said ” My mom thinks my dad is dead.” As you can imagine, this Emily moment caused some wild thoughts as I grabbed my cousin and we sped across town to my aunt’s house. Yes, he was dead, but not due to knife wounds. It took a while to sort out the mix-up.
I was half listening to the news and heard “…the biggest swamp ever. Next weekend at the Fairgrounds.” What? A swamp, even a small one, at the fairgrounds? What’s the attraction? Having lived near the Everglades, I do like a good swamp, especially with alligators! But how do you bring a swamp to the Pacific Northwest? Won’t the gators get cold? They are cold-blooded. Oh, wait… it was the biggest swap ever. Ski swap. Never mind.
Attending a meeting at work one day, everyone was just sitting around. Someone asked “what was the hold-up?” Someone else responded with, “Waiting to drain the swamp.” Hmmm… was that the new catch-phrase of the day? Along the lines of “low-hanging fruit?” It reminded me of a favorite motto: “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that the initial objective was to drain the swamp.” (I know it looks like I’m obsessed with swamps, but I’m not.) So we all waited for several minutes. Then Dwayne Leblanc showed up and the meeting started. Ohhhh… “waiting for Dwayne Leblanc” not “waiting to drain the swamp.” Poor Dwayne. I always call him “drain the swamp” now.
Guess we’re safe here though because this is the written word, not broken. Geez — how do you break a word? The quality of stuff now-a-days is horrible; even words are breaking! Ohh… spoken, not broken. Never mind.